Almost one

So Like every other mother has thought to herself, I can't believe my baby is actually turning one year old in just a few short weeks. Where the hell did all that time go? Back in the early days I was almost certain that time couldn't possibly be going any slower, and that I had actually wished that I could fast forward things to six months ahead, because let's be honest, I was scared out of my fucking mind. Be careful what you wish for.-[ Now I wish I could rewind, but honestly, I can do without the scared shitless new parent 'where do I even begin or how' phase of brand new motherhood. No thanks. My baby and I have come a LONG way from that first night home from the hospital. When of course Oskar decided that that night was a great time to cry his hardest for as long as humanly possible for no apparent reason and scare the hell out of myself and Peter. We conquered that first bit of Nasty diaper rash. We leaped over hurdles and bounds and more hurdles with acid reflux and gaining a steady healthy weight, battling those ever present bouts of projectile vomit that were literally all day every day, can't stop / won't stop style. Golly damn doo it's been a bit of a rough road, but in that also a spectacular learning experience. I feel like a pro now. My life has literally flipped and flopped into something completely different than it used to be or that I could have ever dreamed it would be - even with a baby. I didn't believe anyone who said it was hard. I wish I could slap my old self. So naive. So quick to assume. But all in all, in the end, it is absolutely amazing in every possible way, the good and the bad, and it makes you really pry into yourself and think about what you're doing, and what you will do with this precious being in the future. It all matters now, when in days before it seemed like sometimes I just didn't care about much of anything, it all counts now, everything I do. All I have. It's all for a reason now. The best reason possible.